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Category: Feminists for Fathers

Like Father, Like Son

May 29, 2024

Here at Big Ocean Women we believe that active and engaged fathers make a critical difference in the lives of their children, home and community. Many research studies suggest that their active involvement is associated with positive socio-emotional functioning, academic success, financial stability, significantly reduced aggression, decreased maternal and infant mortality, reduced rates of crime and incarceration in young people, reduced rates of teen pregnancy, reduced rates of child abuse, reduced rates of alcohol and substance abuse, reduced rates of obesity, and overall increased sense of identity, security and overall happiness in a child’s life. These are tremendous contributions, and we must celebrate the fathers who are working so diligently to likewise support and strengthen the rising generation!

As Big Ocean Women, we value our identities as women and men of faith. When we talk about our roles as parents, it is important to acknowledge God in our discussion because we can agree that He is the creator and that he gave us responsibility to raise our children in different ways. He gave women the ability to bear children and to love them, and men the responsibility to protect their families. 

As a young mother, I often wonder how parents connect differently with their children. An outsider watching me with my son, compared to how my husband is with our son, would observe very different types of interaction, but both are key to development for our little one. To the child, the mother is who they go to for comfort, love, and support especially in trials. I see this in myself, as I am often the one that my eight-month-old will come to when he bumps his head and often the one he will cry for when he needs milk or needs comfort. 

Fathers teach their sons how to treat women, and they teach their daughters how to love someone. It has been important to both my husband and me that he is active and involved in our son’s life, especially considering the research mentioned above. I encourage him to spend quality time with our son. We believe that this helps build a stronger relationship between father and son. He teaches our son what is appropriate behavior and what is not. Although he is only eight months old, my son will instantly smile and stop whatever he is doing when daddy says his name in a tone that is obvious he should not be doing what he is doing. 

Many people talk about being the default parent, and I get it. It can seem that way. But what about being the default provider, protector, leader, driver, and repairman? Husbands have responsibilities within the home that are different and are essential to raising children because they teach them how to treat and respect you. Your husband is responsible to teach how to work and provide, how to be selfless in the face of struggle. 

God created male and female in His own image and with different roles within the home. In the New Testament, God created Eve from Adam’s rib, so that they could have children but also so that man would not be alone in the responsibilities that adults have. It is not good for man to be alone. 

I am blessed to be the mother of my children, a stay at home mom, or default parent because I am blessed to be home with the kids and do my divine duty of taking care of them. It is my duty as a mother to teach my children how to live and love. I am blessed to be able to provide my family with a clean home and a warm meal at the end of the day because my husband goes to work every day, all day to provide for us. Realizing this divine responsibility from God, for all parents to teach and love their children as He does, helps my husband’s and my own responsibility seem more essential in our roles as parents- mothers and fathers.