Friends in Abundance

High school was a socially isolating time for me. Not only did I graduate in the infamous year of 2020, at the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, but I lacked skills to socialize in deep and meaningful ways with my peers. My parents didn’t let me have social media apps like Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat until I was 17, but as soon as I got them, I was led into an even deeper hole. These factors compounded together led me down a path of anxiety and depression, but the symptoms didn’t show on the outside. I still did well in my classes, hung out with friends, and graduated with honors. But I felt empty and disconnected inside, crying inside for connection, but only having it filled artificially by social media.

A 2017 study of eighth through 12th graders reported that the number exhibiting high levels of depression rose 33% from 2010 to 2015 (Miller, 2024). Another study showed a positive correlation between social media usage and increased feelings of social isolation. This doesn’t only affect teenagers, but stay-at-home moms, working dads, all of us. Social media has been around for over two decades, so this is nothing new, but I want to make a suggestion of a way that we can overcome such feelings. In a world that can be socially isolating, recognizing and associating with those in our circles can foster feelings of abundance.

My senior year of high school, I belonged to a big group of students, but I didn’t feel close to many of them. One evening, I felt inspired to pray for a friend. And within a few weeks, I found myself reconnecting with a childhood friend named Cody. We skipped history to get breakfast burritos, got flavored sodas at lunch, and just shared a lot of laughs together. We ended up going our separate ways after graduation, but the principle of praying for a friend remained in my mind. 

After I returned from a service trip for my church, I started college. I lived with five girls who were younger than me, and I felt like I didn’t have a group. I prayed for friends. After I got married and joined a new church congregation, I prayed for friends. My favorite experience though, was one day when I was feeling socially isolated, I prayed for friends. As I walked out of class, I saw my high school friend Cody, sitting with a girl on a park bench on campus. I went to go talk to them, and reconnected that old childhood friendship. 

Once, my life felt scarce and isolated by the lack of social connection. Today, I feel abundant as I pray to find friends and pray for the friends I have. A sense of community and connection is something I admire about Big Ocean Women, and I hope that you can feel it too as you join us.